Pardon Me While I Laugh.

So, apparently, the rapture is supposed to happen tomorrow. Or Saturday. If you're in Guam or Austrailia or New Zealand, the rapture has already happened, right? Or is God supposed to wait until it's Saturday across the world, in which case, when it's Saturday in the US, it's already Sunday in the South Pacific, so God's timing is wrong, right?

God and I have had our laughs about this. See, I have spent the last month or so planning a Ladies Tea at my church and how dare He come back and ruin it for me. He smiles and laughs, reminding me that He is God and He can come back when He wants to.

So, okay. "You're coming back tomorrow, Lord. Fine. But, we're inside and in the basement of the church. How you gonna do that? Hunh, Lord?"

A soft laugh. "You'll go outside and I'll get you there. I'll send an angel in and he's going to tell you to walk outside. 'And, we're walking. We're walking.' Oh, wait. That's a Progressive commercial." He puts a finger to His Head. "Let Me think about another phrase."

Honestly, in all seriousness, I can see God up there, shaking His Head, going "Again? When will you stop? Listen to ME: NO MAN, NOR THE SON, NOR THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN KNOW THE DAY OR TIME. If I haven't let My Son know, what makes you think YOU know?"

I'm sure He's getting a good laugh out of it too.

But, hey! If the rapture happens tomorrow, at least I'll spend my last day on earth with my mom and best friend, in church, worshipping Him at my Ladies Tea. Can I ask to be in a better place?

Just hope He'll take care of my cats, whom I know won't be in the rapture.