Tithing vs. Rent

We all have those moments when we look at our bank accounts and go "God, I'm not going to stop tithing, but I can't continue to go into the red." Especially if you're unemployed...like me.

Because of my love for God, I want to obey Him because I love Him and don't want to disappoint Him, but right now, it's a struggle. By tithing, I am going bankrupt. It's once again come down to "tithe or pay rent". What do I do?

I know that I refuse to stop tithing. I know God's got it, but when does my temporary fix become a permanent one?

Yes, I've gotten a few little jobs here and there that have helped, but when do they become full time and I can stop this song and dance?

I'm not looking to be rich. It's not about what I can obtain down here, but it's insuring that I can sleep at night, not feeling like a social outcast or a social pariah, which I feel I am. The feelings are so strong that I often just stay home because I don't want people looking and pointing at me. I know that's not happening, but there are moments I feel like all eyes are on me and they're all saying "That's the unemployed lady, living off of our hard earned dollars. Why doesn't she just get a job already?"

Again, let me restate that I KNOW that's not what's happening. But, I can't handle being out in public right now. So, I have to force myself and that is not easy.

I just want to be able to pay my tithe and not worry about paying rent. While I won't stop tithing, I can't stop worrying.

If you're reading this, pray. Pray that God will provide a job for me and prepare me for the job.