Let's Get A Little Muddy

As a child, one of my favorite things to do was to play in the mud, much to my mother's dismay. There was something about the mud and getting dirty that I loved. Mud got everywhere. In my hair. Under my nails. On my clothes. So, I was only allowed to play in the mud in clothes that were not my best. Only natural.

As I grew older, I found that I still love to play in the mud. When I was 16, playing football on a rainy day, in the mud, with the boys, was a lot of fun. I can confidently say, I've never been the overtly feminine type.

Now, as a woman pushing 40, I still love to play in the mud.

So, it was of no surprise to anyone who knows me well that when the pastor of our church talked about getting muddy and having a kiddie pool of mud on the stage, and his asking for people to come up, that I went.

Of course, there is this child in me that is all excited. I get to play in the mud, in church.

But, there was a point to it.

As Christians, we tend to forget that we used to play in the mud. Our lives aren't as nearly perfect as we tend to think they are. We struggle with addictions and lack of faith and various other imperfections. But, yet, we are not willing to get into the mud and play.

The only way to win people to Christ is to do what He did: Meet them where they're at. Play in the mud. Get dirty with them, while all the while keeping our eyes focused on God.

Christ met me in my mud puddle. He met you in your mud puddle. He'll meet everyone in their mud puddle. But, as His children and disciples, we need to get muddy and meet those, both lost and found, in the mud puddle of their life.

And, like how my feet got a small "spa treatment" and felt soft after being in the mud yesterday, we will get dirty, but we'll also get something unexpected from being in the mud with someone else.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get in the mud.

Don't Forget Us!

I'm one of the "forgotten" in the church. I know it's hard to imagine anyone be a "forgotten" person in the church is a hard concept for most of us to grasp. But, unfortunately, it's true. In our 2 for 1 society, including the church, those of us that are just 1 tend to be pushed aside. It's not always intentional. Sometimes, people don't realize that they're doing that.

I know that I may be sounding sensitive, but trust me, I'm not, even though it is a bit of a sticky subject.

I tried several years ago to get a Singles Ministry started in our church. There was NO age limit, yet there weren't a lot of people over the age of 35. And it was pretty much just women. Oh, and one man.

Not complaining. At least they showed up.

But, as I contemplated possibly trying to start it again, I keep coming back to the idea that people think that a Singles Ministry is about finding your life partner; your husband or your wife. No one really thinks of the ministry part of it.

There are voids in a single's life that are hard to fill. I crawl into a cold bed every night, cuddling only with my cats at my feet. I come home to an empty home, filled only with the intermittent meows of my cats. I talk to my walls since I really have no one else to talk to when I need to cry or talk or to figure something out.

There is a need there in my life; imagine what needs are there in others lives.

A Singles Ministry should focus on the ministry part and not on the "find your partner" part. If it happens that someone finds love in a Singles Ministry, then God was working to bring them together, as long as they are both seeking Him and His Heart.

But, it's not a "meat market". It's where I should be able to go to talk about being single and how God is moving in my life that someone who's married may not understand. A Singles Ministry should be a place where it's OK for someone to be single.

I was a part of one where the original leaders were mid to late thirties and they had only been married a year. It gave me hope that, as long as I follow God and seek Him, if there is someone for me, I'll find him, as long as he's a Godly man.

This couple was called to be missionaries in England for 3 years. Of course, they went. They felt the call there. But, in their stead, a couple who had been married since she was 18 and he was 21. How could they understand what I was feeling?

There are feelings that a single person in their mid to late thirties feels that someone who hasn't walked on that road won't understand.

There are times that, as I approach 40, I question God and if He ever intended for me to find love. I even began to believe the lies that I am unloveable. How can someone married for over 30 years possibly begin to understand that there are those questions?

Some people cope with their single life very well and I am envious of those people. They may have had their questions or they felt from a very early point in life that they were not to be married.

Me? I knew from when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a wife and a mother. It's not happening.

So, what do I do? I blog about it. haha

Seriously, I question God. I put some blame (in fact, 99% of the blame falls on me) on myself and my inability to let people in close and to trust. But, as I find myself opening up to others and to God, the ever elusive Godly man evades me. I even had others ask what's wrong with me.

Is it all really me? Or can any of the blame, of the "what's wrong with..." fall on the men too? Why is it that as I woman, being single is a sin, but for men, being single is being "Godly".

It may not be that way in every church, for every one, but it's been my experience.

I'm sure I'm not the only one.

So, if in your church you come across someone who's single, don't talk to them like they have some sort of disease. They're not going to infect you with some sort of "singleton bug" that makes you suddenly ill or whatever.

They're just single. For whatever reason. Widowed. Divorced. Called to be. Just can't find the love. Feels unworthy of love. Has a career. Has trust issues. Doesn't know how to love. Just doesn't want to be married.

You don't know just by looking at a single person why they're single. Until you get to know them, it may not be wise to ask. You may come across as trying to "fix" their singleness. But, don't judge them because they're not in a marriage like you.

Sometimes, the happiest people are the single people. ;)

Just look around your church. There may be a need for a Singles Ministry that focuses on the Ministry.

More Of My Cats and the Lessons They Teach

So, I got to thinking yesterday of some more lessons my cats teach me about our relationship with God. Can't guarantee this will be a long entry, but it might do.

My littlest cat, Iyanka, is a strange one. I love her to pieces and she is a lover, but she's strange.

When she and her brothers were barely six weeks old, I removed them from an abusive and neglectful home. Momma Cat was so dehydrated that she couldn't produce enough milk to feed all her kittens and of the 8 kitties in her litter, only 3 survived and I have those 3. The runt was among them.

So, Iyanka suckles. I found this out a few years ago when I heard this strange noise on my ear. She apparently had found my earlobe and thought it was going to give her milk, so away she went, waking me up.

I quickly laughed and headed her in the direction of my fleece blankets. She suckles on those now. It's disgusting, if I'm honest, when I pull one up and I feel the wet where Iyanka had suckled.

Every now and again, she'll paw at me while I'm in bed, indicating she wants her "suckie bankie", and so, I turn down the comforter and away she goes.

But, every once in a while, she doesn't want her "suckie bankie". She just wants to be snuggled close to me.

As she pawed to be let under the covers last night, I thought of how much we can be like this with God.

We let Him know what we want and sometimes, He gives in. It may not always be to our benefit, unlike Iyanka's "suckie bankie". Other times, we "paw" at Him because we want to be close to Him. And, like Iyanka, sometimes we stay content at His Side and other times we snuggle for an extremely short period of time before we run away.

The Bible says if we ask the animals, they'll teach us about God. (I'm paraphrasing, I know.) But, they can also teach us a lot about ourselves if we're willing to ask them and to see what we're really like.

Everything I Learned About God, I Learned From My Cats

My cats are amazing creatures. If you doubt, ask them yourself. They'll tell you how utterly amzaing they are. I read a saying once that a few thousand years ago, cats were were worshipped as gods and they've never forgotten. I think my cats still think they're gods.

But, they are teachers to me. They are my children of a different species. Sometimes I think having cats as kids is superior than having actual kids. My "kids" don't throw tantrums in the store. They're not even allowed in stores. They never say that they hate me or disown me. When I'm in a bad mood, they snuggle close to make me feel better.

Just recently, I ran out of money and couldn't afford to get them the dry food they are so used to. I only had enough to buy them canned food. It's good for them and I know they love it, but they were frustrated with having to eat just twice a day when they were used to eating whenever they wanted.

I tried to explain to them that I know they don't understand, but I know what's going on and it'll all be okay. They meowed as though they could really understand and then they proceded to let me know just how hungry they were by snacking on the garbage sack.

Last night, as I snuggled with my littlest girl, I was praying. As she scrambled away from the warmth and safety of my arms, I was struck with something.

I am the cat and God is my owner.

Often times, I complain to Him that I'm "hungry". After all, I've gotten used to "eating" whenever I wanted and suddenly that's gone. I complain and complain and He's so loving and gentle. He tells me that He knows I don't understand like He wishes I could but that He knows what's going on and to trust Him since everything will be okay.

There are so many lessons from God given to me via my cats. Maybe one day, I'll blog about each one for they are indeed lessons on the relationship that God and I share.

Forgiveness

One of the hardest things that we as humans can do is to forgive. Forgive others. Forgive ourselves. It's so much easier sometimes to forgive those that have wronged us than it is for us to forgive ourselves.

I struggle with this. I can very easily forgive someone else, but me? Are you kidding? It'd be easier for me to get the Leaning Tower of Pisa straight.

But, we are not called to just forgive others. In order for us to forgive them, we must forgive ourselves.

And, in order for us to forgive ourselves, we must have God forgive us.

That's the easy part.

We can be assured that God forgives our sins when we ask in honesty. Otherwise, what's the point? If I ask God to forgive me for my *insert any sin you want here* and continue to do so, relying on the Mercy of God, what forgiveness have I really recieved?

But, when we truly and honestly ask for forgiveness and do our best to not do it again, God does so. God expects that we will fall. I know that I have had to ask for forgiveness in an area that I still maintain a struggle with and continually ask for His Help in me overcoming it. He is gracious and, though I fall, forgives me and helps me as needed.

So, am I forgiven? Without a doubt as far as God's concerned. He does what most of us can not. Not only does He forgive, but He FORGETS! Sure, we will have to be accountable for our trangressions when we are standing in front of Him at the Bema Seat, but all Christ needs to do (or so I believe) is remind us that it was covered by His Blood when He died for us.

So, what does all this mean?

Forgiveness is a tool sometimes used by Satan to trap us. "God didn't really forgive you. Come on. For that sin? That's one huge sin and there is no way you'll ever be truly forgiven. God's just being nice. He didn't really really forgive you."

We ALL fall prey to that one. I know I do. Maybe it's why we have such a hard time forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness - TRUE FORGIVENESS - is hard for humans. We can not concieve what absolute forgiveness is.

Psalms 103:12 tells us this: "For He has removed our sins as far from us as the East is from the West."

Come again? For as FAR as the East is from the West. Think about that. That is an infinate line.

So we can't even begin to fathom that.

Yet, it seems as though our sins, and forgiveness from, are on some sort of bungee cord that Satan pulls back.

He is a tricky one. He knows where to get us. With a lot of us, it's with true forgiveness. It is that with me.

But, here's the thing: As I work with God on learning how to forgive myself, I remind Satan that I have already been forgiven for it and if he wants to question my forgiveness, he can take it up the the Forgiver Himself.

And, I'm sure God will say something like "Lucifer, I have not a clue as to what sin you speak of. She is covered by the Blood of My Son and I have forgiven her."

At least I hope that's what He'd say.

Now...all I need to do is continue to seek Him and His Help on actually forgiving myself of my own failures.

author's note: Psalms 103 is a great chapter to read. There are some verses that can be used to counterbalance Satan's attacks. Verses 8 - 11 say this:

8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. 10 He does not punish us for all our sins; He does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. 11 for His Unfailing Love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth."

Get Real

There are times that we put up that facade that we're okay. I know I've done it. We all have. That being said, what happens when we let that facade down and get real?

Pain. Shame. Guilt. Inability to forgive.

But, is that what it really is? Maybe to a point, but the point of getting real is to let ourselves see who we really are.

And, if we're lucky, we'll have friends and family that will let us get real with them. And they'll be real with us.

Not everyone has that support system. If you don't, try and find people you trust. I know that takes time and effort, but if you can find people that you can be open and honest and real with, then you will find people not only worth knowing, but people who will love you regardless.

I know that some people won't love others if they show themselves honestly and realistically. But there are those that will and the ones that will are the ones we need in our lives.

So, find someone you love and trust and whose judgment you don't fear (for if they truly love you they won't judge, but they will be open and honest with you as well) and open up. Be honest. Be real.

It is only in reality that we find ourselves.

So...GET REAL!