We all have those moments when we look at our bank accounts and go "God, I'm not going to stop tithing, but I can't continue to go into the red." Especially if you're unemployed...like me.
Because of my love for God, I want to obey Him because I love Him and don't want to disappoint Him, but right now, it's a struggle. By tithing, I am going bankrupt. It's once again come down to "tithe or pay rent". What do I do?
I know that I refuse to stop tithing. I know God's got it, but when does my temporary fix become a permanent one?
Yes, I've gotten a few little jobs here and there that have helped, but when do they become full time and I can stop this song and dance?
I'm not looking to be rich. It's not about what I can obtain down here, but it's insuring that I can sleep at night, not feeling like a social outcast or a social pariah, which I feel I am. The feelings are so strong that I often just stay home because I don't want people looking and pointing at me. I know that's not happening, but there are moments I feel like all eyes are on me and they're all saying "That's the unemployed lady, living off of our hard earned dollars. Why doesn't she just get a job already?"
Again, let me restate that I KNOW that's not what's happening. But, I can't handle being out in public right now. So, I have to force myself and that is not easy.
I just want to be able to pay my tithe and not worry about paying rent. While I won't stop tithing, I can't stop worrying.
If you're reading this, pray. Pray that God will provide a job for me and prepare me for the job.
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There is a difference between the unemployed and those who are too lazy to get a job. I know several people who have been unable to get jobs for years, not because of lack of trying. You are in my thoughts and prayers! It's hard when there is really nothing available or you are too under or over qualified for something. (I mean really? Overqualified? If someone wants the job and they can do it, give it to them! Even underqualified can learn. I mean, experience doesn't come out of thin air, how can one gain experience if no one is willing to give them a chance to learn?) We are always told that God will bless us for doing the right thing. I know sometimes, we lose patience and fail to remember that He doesn't operate on the same timeline as we do. But hey, we're human. He knows that and loves us anyway. He will never give you something you can't handle. (Even though at times, we feel it's the end of the world!)
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